you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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