Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just found puke in my bra..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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