I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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