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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
