I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
