There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
