wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
