He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
