Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Randomize