You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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