Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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