haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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