I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
