Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
