mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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