I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
