just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
