She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
