is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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