trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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