I looked at my own cervix.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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