At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
