Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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