i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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