Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
