He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize