Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
