I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
