just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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