So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
