and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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