You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if only i could text you this smell
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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