if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
