went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
