why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
