I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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