im holly from the hills drunk
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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