Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
