I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
