Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
