I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
