giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
