Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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