just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
