honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You are a genius and a whore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
