god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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