Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can Purell be used as lube?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
