Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
