Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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