it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
