So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
