I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
