i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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