Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
