she smelled like a LAN party
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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