you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
