ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize