i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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