Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
