i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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