Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize