o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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