just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
